Good morning. This is Ed Brown II, recording live.On the watch,
the big hand is pointing approximately at the ten, while the little
hand is pointing in the direction of five. For those of you who
are curious that's 510 GPT (Greenwich Podcast Time).
So, this is the first recorded live episode. Why? I ran out
of ideas. This week, I've decided to attempt to "Jump the
Wasn't "Shark Week" last month? Well, let me check
my notes. That's correct. In my defense, I have to say, belatedly,
that time-shifting is a bit overrated.
That's the glory of living in an hermetically sealed, a hermetically
sealed podcast. This episode's focus is on breakfast, a typical
breakfast--the point being, eating breakfast.
A recommendation--to truly experience, I believe, the liveliness
of this episode, delay listening to this episode until you wake
up in the morning, first thing. That way, you'll be in sync with
my "not fully" cognizance, and [the episode] will feel
more real to you. Okay. Let's get to eating breakfast.
So, let's first start off with a glass of water. And while sipping
the water, you can go ahead.... I gotta, what, some granola with
raisins and--with raisins and almonds, and I'll prepare that with
some yogurt plain, plain yogurt (zero percent) and a little bit
of skim milk. Enjoy.
The size of the bowl I have is regular, regular-sized bowl.
[The sound of opening a box of cereal and pouring the contents
into a bowl.]
I fill it about halfway. The thing about breakfast in the morning
is you don't think about too much other than getting food in your
stomach. You can preplan this type of stuff without much effort.
[The sound of a refrigerator door opening and closing. The sound
of yogurt being scooped out of a container.]
In goes yogurt, now for skim milk.
Once again, just a little bit of skim milk--just so you can see
it rise above the bottom, rise up from the bottom, so that way
when you stir it...it's not. It's wet; the granola is wet, the
cereal is wet, and the yogurt sort of like melts. Enjoy.
Now, I don't want to be rude and talk while eating, even though
you can't really see what's in my mouth. While I eat the cereal,
I begin with the second phase of my breakfast, which is the making
What do we have over here? We have some dark French Roast beans.
I'm going ahead and grind them up, put them in a stovetop, put
them in stovetop coffee-maker--and ah, yeah. So, that way they'll
be ready to go after I'm done eating my cereal. Okay, here we
So, as you may have figured out this isn't your standard 'sit
down and eat breakfast'. This is a get up and go, task-oriented
breakfast--and, quite frankly, you've been laying down in bed
for about eight hours, hopefully, getting your eight hours worth
of sleep. And, if you're an office person such as myself, you're
going to be sitting at a desk all day long, so why not in the
morning get some blood circulating by standing up and eating your
breakfast, preparing it, etc. Why not? I mean usually, I do some
exercising before, but since I'm jumping the shark here I figured,
why not all out and not do any exercise this morning and do this
podcast. As opposed to when I have ideas, I'm usually recording
in the evenings after a long day.
Oops, excuse me. So, now grind coffee. I may edit this out because
I can get a little noisy. Okay?
[The sound of a coffee pot being taken apart.]
For those of you itching for a little regular podcast stuff--'Filtered
Now sometimes people say, you know, "I like to have music
in the background." You know, what I'm doing. You know, some
work at my computer or, you know, even walking down street, now
has some background music. Well, here are some typical noises
that you don't get in your day to day. So if you want to use this
as your background noise to get you going, make you feel like
you've eaten breakfast or prepared breakfast, whatever. Go ahead
and feel free to use this for your background entertainment, as
your background entertainment.
Some people enjoy the sound of the ocean in the background, you
know, that type of thing. I know some people who miss the city,
they have, you know, construction workers going on the background:
jackhammer, cranes, cement mixer. So to each his own, her own.
[The sound of putting ground coffee into the coffee pot.]
Now, some people say you shouldn't tamp your stovetop coffee
into the maker there, into the holder, container thingy, but,
you know, I like to. But generally, you shouldn't tamp--conventional
[The sound of the coffee pot being placed on the stove.]
Alright. Turn the burner on; let's get some coffee brewing here.
Alright. Cereal--before moving on to the next step.
So, I generally have [a] cold/hot breakfast. So, the cold is
the cereal, yogurt, skim milk; hot--toast, bacon, egg. Bacon is
optional. Sometimes I have sausage, but it's a combination of
bread, meat, egg. Sometimes in the morning, I'll have a scrambled
egg with some chopped up sausage and some American cheese. Put
it in a pan. A piece of wheat toast, butter it. [NOTE: I forgot
to mention the cinnamon.] Put the egg/meat mixture, cheese mixture
on top of the toast, slice of toast, a little bit of pepper (black
pepper) and then put some sugar-free syrup on top. That's delicious,
but I'm tired of the meat not for like the past week and a half.
So today we're gonna have bacon, and our eggs are going to be
sunny-side, and no syrup--just the bacon, toast and butter.
So, I'm going to start with the bacon. Now, I don't eat bacon
that often. So what I like to do is freeze my bacon. But, I buy
at the supermarket, individual slices, as opposed to the packaged.
So that way I can put a slice, wax paper it and stack them up
(a slice of bacon and wax paper), and then I can just pick one
out, and I have to worry about trying to eat the whole package
of bacon in a week because it goes bad, or bring up half the bacon
and then put the other half in the freezer, and then say, "Oh,
I feel like some bacon." And then you take it bacon out,
defrost it, and then put the bacon back, and get all the bacteria
going. This is a safe way, for me anyway, easy to, of having bacon
available when I want to have some--which is now.
So, take it out of the freezer and unwrap it. I got a cast iron
skillet here; warm that up. Get your bacon going.
[The sounds of a freezer door opening/closing, the clang of a
metal skillet, the ruffle of waxed paper.]
I'm only using a small cast iron skillet, so I sliced my bacon
crosswise in there so it fits in the skillet. And also. when it's
done it lots of fit on a slice of bread. As you can see, the preheated
skillet, the bacon is starting to sizzle there. Have a listen.
[The sound of bacon sizzling in the skillet.].
Nothing like that says, "Good morning. Wake up. Pretty soon,
you'll be smelling the coffee."
The best thing about granola, yogurt and milk is that while you
doing all this stuff, your cereal doesn't get soggy. You know
what I mean? And if it does get soggy, it just means it's easier
to chew. And also, for the water, the reason why I have it, is
that if the granola gets caked in your mouth, you got a little
bit of water to wash it down.
Alight. Now I'm getting ready to put the toast, slice of bread
into the toaster. Have that ready to go, once the bacon is done.
Now, the trick here, I guess the most difficult part, one of the
trickier parts is after the bacon is cooked. Let me turn to bacon
over, pardon me. Once the bacon is cooked and your getting to
put your egg on, is to start your toast, and have your toast pop
up just before your egg is done so you can butter it and the toast
is still warm and doesn't like get all sorta like cold and, I
don't know, mushy. So yeah. You're gonna have to work on the timing,
if you don't do this on a regular basis is to, you know, know
when to put it near you're toast. Chefs do it all the time. You
gotta a perfect, the timing perfect for the plate to be finished
and then send it out on to the table. You know what that's like
when you're food, you have your food is cold. So, you're gonna
have to work on that timing on your own, but you're standing.
You get your circulation there going. You're starting to wake
up. And you're starting to get your sense of time.
Ah! It's almost time to smell the coffee. Have a listen.
[The faint sound of coffee percolating.]
If you can't hear that, what's happening is the coffee is starting
to come up the little funnel there, the pressure or whatever,
from the coffee maker is just streaming up, and like a bubbling
or gurgling fountain there that isn't quite functioning properly,
you know. Time to call the maintenance person. And there it goes.
Ah, hear it.
[The sound of coffee percolating.]
Now I gotta pause because the bacon is about to overcook there.
I like my bacon crispy, but not burnt.
I'm gonna let the skillet cool down a little bit and then I'm
going to scrape the grease out of the pain or pour the grease
out of the paint into a little tin can I have in there to preserve
the bacon grease. Not so much using in the future, but so not
to--to easily dispose of it. That's all.
Alright now, once again we will return to the fun part of toasting
and making the sunny side egg. In the spirit of a regular podcast,
'Jumbo Egg'. I know it sounds a little off because this is my
morning voice--as opposed to my evening voice.
Important. Once your coffee is brewed, you want to put port in
your mug because your mug will keep it warmer than the pot.
[The sound of getting a coffee mug out of a cabinet.]
If you say, "well why don't I just keep the burner on a
little bit?" Well the burner will evaporate the coffee or
burn off the coffee, and coffee will taste like burnt, not burnt
like meat, but burnt like a drink--'thicky' dense.
And the best thing about morning breakfast, preparing it any
way--so generally, you don't think, you just do, and you don't
converse that much. It's me time. You get to live in the moment.
Alright. So I'm gonna put the, pour this grease in this can here,
um, so that way I can use the same skillet. Use a towel or a,
a, what do you call that a, potholder and, um, so we don't burn
And that's the thing in the morning, you know, you have to be
careful because sometimes you may not be fully awake and grab
the pain without thinking because you're not paying attention.
So, you know if you're prepared enough to make breakfast in the
morning, that you're awake enough and alert enough to do what
you need to do properly.
And I like to use a cast-iron pan in the morning because I can
now scrape the bacon grease out, I can quickly dash this underwater
to get the grit off the skillet and wipe it off with the paper
towel and not have the pan warp because of the change of temperature:
hot to cold.
[The sounds of running water from a spigot and a pan being placed
on the stove.]
Just about finishing up the cereal before making the second half
[The sound of a refrigerator door opening/closing.]
We have a little guest this morning for our breakfast. We're
gonna add a grape or two. I got some red grapes, and pop one in
your mouth, liven up this granola. One, two, three. Delicious!
We're gonna reheat, preheat the skillet, cast-iron skillet, with
some 'Olive Oil'.
[The sound of a spoon scraping the inside of a bowl.]
There's one thing worse than not eating breakfast in the morning--and
that is not eating ALL of your breakfast in the morning: fuel
for the day, or for at least the commute.
Okay. Preheating. I'm going to push around the olive oil in the
My personal preference here is to, I always try to, soon as I
use a [chef's] knife, clean it, put it back in the rack there
so it's ready to go. And you don't have to worry about it falling
on the floor stabbing you in the foot, or needing it at a crucial
time and it's sitting there with a whole bunch of mucky-muck on
it. You know I mean? And then your trying to clean it and get
this cut, whatever, blah. Clean it! Rack it! Now!
If you're a foodie or you like to cook, there's always the whole
thing. Do you break the egg on a hard edge or you use a flat surface
like a counter top? Now, I used to use the edge of the skillet,
whatever, and you get a little bit of the egg inside a skillet.
Blah blah blah blah blah. And there's not much you can do about
it because if the skillet is hot, then the egg cooks on the side
of the pain, and it's not usable. If you use the edge of a bowl
then sometimes it drips down the side of the bowl, and not make
it, and then get shells.
Alright, I mean you may have heard this argument before. So,
I moved to the technique of smashing it. Well trying not to smash
it, but crack the egg on a counter top. If in the morning, you
know, you're a little heavy-handed, whatever, if you happen to
smash the entire uncooked egg onto the counter, at least you have
the opportunity to scoop the, or wipe the counter with your hand
or spatula or whatever and get the egg into the pan and fish out
all of the shells later.
But that won't happen. Practice makes perfext, perfect. Practice
makes perfect. Even when you say it three times fast: practice
makes perfext; practice makes perfect; practice makes perfect.
Eventually you'll get there.
Alright, I'm going to start the toast. Uhp. Plug in the toaster.
[The sound of objects being pushed aside to plug in the toaster.]
[The sound of an egg being cracked and poured into a hot skillet.]
Now this is the thing of knowing your skillet, knowing the flame
beneath, and so that way you're yolk doesn't cook faster, or the
egg white doesn't cook faster than the yolk. So, you gotta play
this whole, sort of like a, game of using a lid to heat the yolk,
but not overheat the yolk, depending on how you like, prefer the
yolk. So concentrate with me here.
[The sound of a metal lid covering the skillet.].
[I'm] getting the plate for the toast.
[The sounds of a cabinet door opening, the cluttering of plates,
the cabinet door closing.]
Lower the flame!
[The sound of the lid lifting, then covering the skillet again.
[The sound of drinking water from a glass.]
[The sound of water flowing from a spigot.]
Wash the hands!
[The sound of the lid being removed from the pan and placed to
So, now we're just waiting for the toast. That's the egg. Hear
the egg gurgle.
[The sound of the egg in the open skillet crackling.]
You want to be ready. The toast has popped. You want to get your
butter right away so the butter melts on the toast, because the
toast is still hot.
[The sounds of the refrigerator door opening, a compartment door
flipping up/down, the refrigerator door closing, a knife being
retrieved from a drawer.]
This is probably, probably the most intense portion of the meal,
preparing the meal is getting the egg, butter, toast: melt butter,
[The sound of returning the butter into the refrigerator.]
I prefer unsalted butter.
'Butter Tabs'. There you go.
[The sound of a knife spreading butter on a piece of toast.]
I have the habit of after spreading the toast with the knife,
the butter, putting the knife in the sink, and then when I eat,
[I] have to go get another clean knife out of the drawer. This
time I did not forget; I SAVED THE KNIFE for breakfast.
[The sound of a drawer opening and closing abruptly to retrieve
a metal spatula.]
Quick! The egg is over-cooking. Hurry up!
[The sounds of the skillet clattering on top of the stove, the
spatula gliding on the skillet surface.]
The trick is making sure that the bottom of the egg is cooked
hard enough so that way the yolk doesn't come seeping out the
bottom. This time I think I got it right.
So it's uh--toast, butter, bacon, egg.
[The sound of the sunny-side egg being lifted from the skillet
onto a plate.]
Wallah! Toast, butter, bacon, egg! Toast, butter, bacon, egg!
And if you like, some pepper. I don't use salt.
And now, since we've been standing here cooking breakfast, waking
up--now that we have our toast, butter, bacon, egg, pepper--sit
down and have a moment to reflect while you eat.
Aah. Pause for a moment to eat. Enjoy!
So, it's been about an hour since I woke up this morning. And
as you can tell, it's been about an hour since I woke up, yeah,
and as you can tell I'm making, I'm forming better sentences than
when I did when I woke up this morning. Even though I had a bit
of a script in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel much better
now. I've almost finished my coffee. I'm getting ready to shower
and get ready for the rest of the day.
But, you know, hey, when you run out of ideas, get a good night's
rest, wake up, mumble to yourself a little bit, get downstairs,
make yourself a decent breakfast--and maybe for the rest of the
day, the ideas will flow. Yeah!
So, this is Ed "Jumping the Shark". And, let's see
[The sound of paper shuffling.].
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed your breakfast.
Now if I failed, which is important, because I do fail--more
often than I'd like to say, but if I failed to jump the
shark, then think positively and consider this a win-win.
Not only did I have a satisfactory breakfast, but so did the tooth-thumb,
the toothsome thrasher; so did the tooth...the toothsome toothsum,
the toothsum threshah, THRESHAHHHRRR!
There you go!
So go out there. If that's what you have to do for the day.