Saturday, May 30, 2015: Morning, First Thing
You wake up, get dressed appropriately for what will
result in a half-assed jog. Walk home.
Once back inside the house, go directly to the refrigerator.
Pour yourself a tall glass of flavored electrolyte water.
Next, eat breakfast that consists of a cereal blend: granola,
whole wheat/barley crunchy nuggets and bran flakes--add
Greek yogurt and nonfat milk. You turn on the television
to watch the news while chewing slowly globs of cereal
mush. During a commercial break, you begin making a pot
of coffee, wash a dirty skillet in which to scramble an
egg while the weather and traffic is reported. You think
to add some sausage bits and cheese. Turn off the fire
from beneath the skillet. You remember to boil a half
When the health segment begins, you go into the cabinet
to get some crisp-bread because the egg is cooked and
there is not enough time to toast a piece of regular bread
without the egg getting cold as well as prevent the melted
cheese from solidifying. You hastily pour orange juice
into a glass; cut the drink with mineral water. Grab a
sponge to wipe up the spillage. The percolated coffee
boils over hissing. Turn off the fire from beneath the
pot. You curse when you discover there are not any clean
mugs, forcing you to dig under a pile of dishes that are
propped up by mugs and glasses. Slimy cold water splashes
on your hands requiring a soap and warm water cleaning.
You enjoy adding a little bit of salt and pepper on your
meal. You are watching the consumer report when a clanking
sound coming from the kitchen is recognized. The eggs
are done. Turn off the burner. Using a dish towel, lift
the lid--half an inch of water remains in the pot. Finish
eating your meal. Relax. Satiated, you doze off.
You wake up as the guest band finishes their performance.
You peel your sweat-tacky body off the couch, find your
cellphone and Bluetooth speakers, go upstairs, undress,
listen to music while taking a bath, brush teeth, get
dressed. Check email as you walk down the stairs to the
kitchen. Find space in the sink for the breakfast dishes.
Go into the living room. Locate the remote control. See
the unfinished orange juice. Drink in staggered sips alternating
with TV channel flipping. Sit down and finish reading
email--scanning and deleting you admit to yourself. Realize
that the channel last flipped is an infomercial. Click
the remote three times.
You watch a natural history program. The host cuts from
the wild back to the museum where he works, where there
is a python in captivity. The python has a problem. After
shedding its skin, there is some dead skin remaining,
covering its right eye. The snake is unable to remove
the skin. You watch attentively the caretakers in action,
in captivity, as a team of five constrain the python,
extract the poisonous venom before using tweezers to pick
the skin from its eye. Once the task had been achieved,
the python, agitated, springs toward the remaining caretaker
who quickly backs away from the snake, bends down, ducking
so not to clunk the back of his head on the serpentarium
You boil a couple of hot dogs. Place each on a slice
of bread, smother with mustard, fold corners diagonally.
Get another glass of electrolyte water. Grab a bag of
corn chips from the cabinet. After lunch you go upstairs
into the bedroom to put on some socks and sneakers. Go
back to the kitchen, find a protein bar in the cabinet
before locating your car keys and wallet on the table.
Close all the open windows in the house. Set the house
alarm. Fetch a bottle of water before the final activation
While driving to your mother's house, you want to munch
on the protein bar and drink the water. Common sense says
keep both hands on the steering wheel, as other cars on
the highway switch lanes more frequently than yourself.
You forget about the protein bar that was put in the glove
compartment and the bottle which remains in the cup holder
beside the bucket car seat. A half mile before getting
to mom's house, you stop by the grocery store and purchase
a quart of differently flavored electrolyte drink and
a discounted diet TV dinner: beef with portobello mushrooms
and broccoli. After paying for the items, you discover
a coupon with the receipt. The coupon is for fifty cents
off the purchase of two discounted diet TV dinners. You
You get to mom's, let yourself in, say hello and hug
your sister who is visiting for the weekend. She is in
the living room with their mother. Greet mom with a smile
and a one-handed shoulder squeeze in the hopes of riling
her strength. Make your way into the kitchen, discover
what is available and ready to consume: in the Corning
Ware on the stove, baked macaroni and cheese; in the refrigerator,
a large resealable plastic baggie of barbecue chicken
wings. The decision is made to heat up the TV dinner in
the microwave--puncture thin clear top, set time. While
waiting, get the ice tray out of the freezer, put several
cubes in the largest coffee mug you can locate. After
five minutes have passed, the microwave beeps. The broccoli
is piping hot; the meat, barely defrosted. You remove
the broccoli and return the meat into the microwave, set
the timer for three minutes. Your sister reminds you that
the "nuker" was purchased in sometime in the
1980s. Mom reminds you that she always reheats using the
Your sister comes into the kitchen and small talks about
social media while you ingest low carbs, low calories,
electrolytes. Tired, you make your way to the living room
couch, after putting the dishes into the cluttered sink.
Remove your shoes before putting your feet up on the couch.
Notice the Easter jelly beans in a bowl on the coffee
table. Perk up to a sitting position. Grab a handful--munch,
munch, chew, chew. Your disgruntled mother complains that
black jelly beans are supposed to taste like licorice.
Hand your mother a few when she asks you to pass her some.
You lay flat on the couch, go to sleep.
Wake up in time for the six o'clock news. Watch for an
hour. Go into the kitchen, scoop into a bowl a couple
heaping spoonfuls of macaroni and cheese mom made for
his sister's visit and for company that stopped by earlier
in the week. Put a few chicken wings onto a plate. Heat
the bowl first, then the plate in the retro-nuker.
The topic of discussion over dinner pertained to your
website, which was prompted by your sister. Explain convincingly
that the website is not about yourself. Argue that your
website is about eating ingredients, not photographing
ingredients--and with a stern glare, state with machismo
that if someone wants to leave a comment, that perrr-ssson
can email directly! You let the conversation trail off
on how does a person decide upon her/his digital platform
(blog, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Google+, Reddit, Instagram,
YouTube, LinkedIn, etc.), and how does anyone not get
overwhelmed by expectations. You talk about the importance
of mission and vision (aka passion and intention), talk
about the importance of having initiatives from which
to spin-off other areas of interest. Provide examples
as seen on televised media.
Welcome your mother's interruption until she announces
that there is work to be done around the house. You counter
with the announcement that the hour is getting late, and
that you have not done your laundry yet, and that you
have three days worth of dirty dishes waiting to be cleaned.
Snidely, mom replies by asking why you did not multitask
on Friday night while watching a movie? Chagrining, you
admit the desire to focus solely on the movie instead
of pausing to load/unload/load/fold, repeat. Express the
need to pay attention, not pass time. Your sister asks
the name of the movie. She is shocked and appalled when
she hears the words, "Miami Vice".
"The movie expires May 31st. I skipped past the
movie a zillion times since released online. What was
different about the movie was that the beginning was
not cliché. Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell) and
Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) were on a stakeout in a disco
club. Crockett gets a call on his cell phone from one
of his high profile snitches, who was in serious-desperate
trouble. Crockett lets Tubbs know something's wrong,
resulting in them putting a kibosh on making arrests
of the backroom heavy-handed pimps. Instead they call
in a chopper to help them track down their informer.
The plot of the story did not take off until eighteen
Thinking what was wrong with this picture, you could
have continued with an exegesis based on Colin Farrell's
(Crockett's) hairstyle alone, looking ninety percent similar
to that of Mel Gibson's character Martin Riggs in the
movie "Lethal Weapon". After comparing and contrasting
these two characters, you could have lectured on how Foxx's
Tubbs was a step up from Danny Glover's Roger Murtaugh.
The gender politics concerning Crockett's emotional concern
for the family-man stoolie was not parallel with his love
interest--she who was unwittingly wooed and flipped. She,
Isabella (played by Gong Li), after betraying her drug
lord boyfriend [spoiler alert], he who was never caught
by the police, she, at the end of the movie, after having
so long forever because this relationship was never going
to work sex, gets sent back, compliments of Crockett,
to Cuba (her home country) not realizing the serious uncertainty
of her future! Isabella, seemingly expendable, was not
even offered witness protection!!
However, this is a movie. This issue could be
construed as either an oversight, flaw in the script,
or perceived as a directorial licensed commentary, as
a poignant art imitating life observation. You decide
not to engage in this dialogic exploration because your
sister and mother have not seen the movie, a movie scheduled
to expire within a day. Besides, "Miami Vice"
was released in theaters nine years ago; "Lethal
Weapon", over twenty-five years. Is a commentary
chat even relevant at this point in time? Mom reiterates
there is work to be done around the house--your cue to
leave. Once home at your place, you eat another cereal
combo, put the boiled eggs in a clean container, dump
the water into the sink, then go to bed.
Next morning your routine is similar, with exception
to the jog: instead, a half-[stretched]-ass yoga series
of poses. Afterwards, you empty the hamper full of dirty
clothes into the laundry basket and follow the routine:
load/unload/load/fold, repeat. Wash the dishes. Cook breakfast:
two eggs, sausage, and an English muffin buttered powdered
with cinnamon sopped with sugar-free syrup. You watch
the news the entire morning before bathing, dressing,
going back to mother's to complete the tasks mentioned
the evening prior. You want to make good use of the coupon
at the grocery store a half mile away from her house.
Purchase two discounted diet TV dinners: Mandarin chicken
and Asian-style pot-stickers. With the receipt, this time
received is a coupon worth seventy-five cents off four
TV dinners. You double-blink twice, furl your brow, scrunch
At your mother's house--her car is not in the driveway.
Go inside the house. Your sister is not at home either.
You discover that the work items do not exist--should
have checked the situation last night. Call your sister
on her cell phone. She lets you know that they are at
the convent visiting friends. She does not know where
your mother has wandered off. Call your mother on her
cell phone. She, mildly astonished, states that she is
outside the chapel sitting on a bench beneath a huge tree
talking, having a pleasant day, enjoying the breeze. Mom
promises that she will have the work set aside next week.
You cite your schedule.
You get into your car, drive onto the highway, take the
off ramp closest to the supermarket near your home. You
get the necessary grub for the week. Once home, put the
groceries away, frozen items first. Turn on the news,
microwave the TV dinners. When the news is over, enjoy
a cup of coffee while making egg salad:
Hard-boiled Eggs (mashed)
Bread & Butter Pickle Chips (diced)
Cherry Peppers (diced)
Arrowroot (if needed)