Hello. I am Dr. Pilatia. I am
a paleontologist. I am here to tell you the story of an
imaginative explorer named Ashley, who liked to do research
To conduct his research, Ashley went to
school, the library, and museums. When those buildings were
closed, he would read the books that he gathered from those
educational institutions-and even books that his parents
and relatives obtained for him. Ashley would watch any public
television documentary or cable TV show about dinosaurs--and
then there were the DVDs Ashley's parents would rent occasionally.
Ashley was such an enthusiast; he would even look for information
about dinosaurs on the Internet.
Becoming quite the specialist, Ashley memorized
the main eras in which the dinosaurs lived: the Triassic,
the Jurassic, and the Cretaceous periods. He became obsessive
in detailing the timeline.
Ashley's parents were becoming concerned
that their son was becoming a little too preoccupied with
dinosaurs, but Ashley pleaded not to have his research funding
cut because he was just about to have a major discovery.
His parents thought, how cute, and decided to encourage
their son's activities--at least for another month.
A few days later, Ashley was sitting
at his computer…an earth-shattering event!
Something clicked in
Ashley's head. Idea after idea swarmed within his brain.
He leaned back in his chair. His jaw dropped. His eyes shut
closed: TMI--Too Much Information!
When Ashley awakened, to his
astonishment he discovered that he had been transported
into the Time of the Dinosaurs.
By the fact that he saw a Giganotosaurus
walking around, he quickly realized the era that he had
been transported somewhere around the Jurassic and Cretaceous
periods, but he did not know where in the world he was.
Ashley wanted to get back home to Texas,
where his parents lived. So, he decided to ask the Giganotosaurus
for some direction.
My name is Ashley. I am a human. I know how to think and
feel. I am lost in the time of the dinosaurs. I think I
need to find my grown-ups,
my parents. I feel sad.
name is George. I am a Giganotosaurus. I know how to roar.
When I grow up, I want to explore the world and learn more.
Where am I? In what time period
are in Patagonia, Argentina, during the early Cretaceous
NARRATOR: Ashley's brain clicked
again, propelling him into the Jurassic period, and landing
in the state of Colorado, USA, where he met Elmuer.
ELMUER: My name is Elmuer. I am a
Stegosaurus. I know how to grumble. When I grow up, I want
to be humble, but not a bumble.
greeted Elmuer and explained his situation in needing to
find his parents. In mid-sentence, he had another clicking
impasse. This time, Ashley found himself somewhere in Alberta,
Canada, during the late Cretaceous period, where he was
My name is Alice. I am a Troödon (TROH-oh-don). I am
clever than ever; I know how teach. When I grow up, I want
to be able to discipline without being a screech!
NARRATOR: Click. Off went Ashley
to Bavaria, Germany, during the late Jurassic period.
TERI: My name is Teri. I am an Archaeopteryx
(ark-ee-OP-ter-iks). I know how to chirrup. When I grow
up, I want to star as Betsey the Amoeba in the long-running
musical Gooey Pituey--the unofficial story about
the primordial soup.
ASHLEY: Thanks, but I already had
NARRATOR: A slight misunderstanding,
but Ashley was beginning to figure out what was happening
to him. The "clicks" that he was experiencing
were actually clicks linking him to different locations
and time periods. Ashley realized that he had fallen victim
to yet another poorly designed website!!! CLICK!!!
IRENE: Hello. My name is Irene.
I am an Iguanodon (ig-WHA-no-don). I am from England. I
know that the Iguanodons were one of the first dinosaurs
to be recognized by paleontologists. When I grow up, I want
to trace and document my heritage because my family
has lived in all parts of the world.
Even in Texas? That is where my parent's family has been
IRENE: Afraid not. Haven't stepped
foot, but from what I understand, Texas is a very large
NARRATOR: Click. Ashley is where?
PAMELA: My name is Pamela. I am a
Pterodaustro (ter-o-DOW-stro). With my excellent eyesight
and extensive wingspan, I want to help others locate their
vision and guide them to their final destination--when I
ASHLEY: Oh, really! Which way is
NARRATOR: Up, up and, um, which way?
SUZY: My name is Suzy. I am a Triceratops
(try-SERRA-TOPS) from Montana, USA. I like plants. When
I grow up, I want to keep in balance the ecosystem that
maintains all the trees in the forest.
Ashley, thinking more and more about this particular
Internet experience, was beginning to feel deep in the
TOMMY: My name is Tommy the T-Rex.
This is my sister, Baby T-Rex--Tina for short.
TINA: We are from Texas!
ASHLEY: You are!!! Do you know my
TOMMY: Well, no, but I do know how
to seek and find food by using the geographic coordinate
system. When I grow up, I want to discover the riff between
time and space in relation to crop circles.
TINA: Yeah, yeah… Your parents are
yonder, between that crevice, between the Cretaceous and
Jurassic periods. No, there. There!!! Just click
on the word "Mammals," then on the word "Neanderthal." And
then scroll down. Look for the bull's-eye drawn in
the field of wheat.
With a click and a click and a fiber-optic Internet connection,
Ashley was back in the twenty-first century with his parents,
safe and sound. He couldn't wait to tell his parents, his
friends at school, the reference librarian, and the museum
curator about his adventure. Having experienced a discombobulation
of the prehistoric times, Ashley wanted to reintroduce himself
to this standardized age.
ASHLEY: My name is Ashley. I know
how to think and feel. When I grow up, I think I want to
be a dinosaur, just like my friends. I feel happy.
NARRATOR: With that said, Ashley
gave his parents a big hug and thanked them for granting
him the allowance to have an intellectual and emotional
breakthrough, while researching the Time of the Dinosaurs.